Review: Netflix’s Polar

Danish John Wick takes on a band of assassins who kidnap his neighbour after he accidentally kills his own dog. And I kind of love it.

In this instalment of the John Wick franchise, we’ve traded in the formidable Keanu Reeves for the equally as talented and less vocal Mads Mikkelson… er, wait, this is a different film series?

Welcome to Polar, where the hired assassins have a way better RRSP than you. Seriously, are they hiring?

Here’s what happens (#spoilers)

After deciding to cut his losses Mr. Blut, the lemon of my nightmares and CEO of Murder, Inc. (which is actually not the name of the company but the organization formerly held by mobster Bugsy Seigel — but I couldn’t remember the name of the company or find it anywhere online), hires a team of slightly less-talented assassins to track down and take out the company’s former top employee, Duncan Vizla, who has out thwarted them by using a different accountant to purchase his middle-of-nowhere Montana house (the last part isn’t technically in the story, but one can assume).

Meanwhile, Duncan, who seems utterly depressed to be going into retirement despite his pending $8-million retirement plan (seriously, I am in the wrong business)…